You’ve waited years for you’re White Knight to whisk you to the castle.

Then that wonderful day came when you finally said “I do” and low and behold “you didn’t”.

Months or years go by and you’re still waiting for the pure bliss. Maybe there were moments of pleasure but it still wasn’t what you dreamed.

In today’s society there are those of us that have grown up with the idea of how a wife’s job is to please her husband. Somewhere in the recesses of your memory there may even be conversations from mom or grandma telling you how to just “lie still and it’ll be over with quickly”. You may have even heard that the term “fake it till you make it” applied to sexual orgasm.

Do you find one of your biggest frustrations is that you remember when you said “I do” you truly believed that the act of making love was a beautiful reality and you really believed your husband was the man that you would spend your life with in wedded bliss…and now something is amiss?

You may even feel guilty that the thought of having sex again tonight is something you would rather avoid, and are you wondering if the concept of “the grass is greener in someone else’s yard” is based on fact not fantasy. In the back of your mind are you questioning if there isn’t something “wrong” with you?

If you have found yourself faking orgasm just to get “it” over with, pretending you’re asleep or having another one of “those” headaches just to avoid having sex…if you can relate to “again?”, then you’re not alone!

There isn’t anything wrong with you. Try starting with the idea that it isn’t about “good” or “bad”. It’s just “what it is”.

When you let go of the good or bad behind the thoughts you begin to free yourself to look at where the thoughts are coming from. You can start to make different choices in your own thoughts, your actions and your verbal communications.

You even have the freedom to choose to enjoy making love. When you recognize the power of your own choices you will be half way there to creating a totally different experience.

In addition to the freedom to choose to enjoy making love, you also have the freedom to change your current situation. If you have previously been in the “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” state of mind; ask yourself “why”? Then ask yourself what it is that you really want. You will find yourself moving towards a life where you enjoy your husband AND yourself – possibly without even noticing the change at first. In my experience the relationship is very different, but it starts with a different relationship with “self”.

Once you’ve made the choice to change; you are free to experience the sexual relationship you dreamed of so long ago. The passion, the fire, the desire, the union…the words that speak of something that was previously unknown. It is possible to go from the space of “having sex” once a month or once a year to enjoying the physical expression of love three or four times a week. I know.

You choose what you want your relationship to feel like. You choose the burning desire.

The real question is “will you choose to make the change and experience the flame of passion”?